The whole day u hv not talked to me..n to u it's ntg Bt to me it's everything. Why don't u understand!? T.T i really hate u b..tanks for wat u've done..The whole day i've been thinkin abt ntg else bt meeting u n hearing frm u bt u just dun seem to care huh...?

Wow today was a really tiring day! Went out to tanjong pagar to setlle sum family issues n i came straight back to meet cikgu for extra lesson. Real freaking tired bt dare to sacrifice for o lvl :) Anyway he was chatting wit me last night. It ws...amazing.. We talked abt our long lost love. I ws smiling like hell wen  we slowly recalled all the memories. I felt like i ws his gf again for tt little moment..:) He even told me tt he'll give me a hug today. Bt smtg happened. His gf showed up in all of a sudden. I ws fine with it. as usual. Then she ws talkin wit him on the other table there ws like sum issue between them. I ws sitting wit my fren Farhan! :D haha i ws making a ridiculous sauce wit all the leftovers on the table :) then , she saw it n she did wat i ws doing n then played wit farhan . I'm nt nbeing jealous -.-" cz the reason y i'm saying tis is just to say tat She ws being so mean to him! him as in Farhan! She ws like showing him THE finger, n saying "those" things at him. I ws like damn shocked O.O! Nvr heard a girl , who is a gf of Farhan's own fren , calling n doin things like tt to Farhan even wen his fren ws there. I cudnt do anything bt to stay quiet. Haaaaiizzz.....:( oh n the moral of the story..At last i din get wat i ws suppose to get... Forget it

I seriously tink there's smtg wrong between him n his gal. N to me, frm wat i see, i tink the problem is actually the girl.. :( I'm sorry it's nt tat i dun like her. Well i actually dun -.-" bt tat's nt wat i mean to say nw. She's...I dun noe..I just wonder wether she really loves him. Her facebook posts r like scary cz watever she says abt her love is nt abt him bt abt her ex. I really wonder y the hell he chose her for...i just hope tt he follows his heart cz if he wants to fight for her..i'm afraid tt he might lose. In fact, to be honest i tink tt she doesnt worth fighting for -.-" Trust me if i had a boyfren like her who's in relationship wit me bt still loves his ex, I'm so gonna dump him! I mean like c'mon! i love u bt u love who u hv alredy dumped?? Then..wat u mean to say is tat , my love for u means ntg nw cz SHE'S still in ur heart?? Pls even if i love a dog, it'll love me back. Bt u r behaving worse than tat by just wasting away my love for u. Ok maybe i shud nt be so mean huh? :( Sorry, bt just cnt see the one tt i really love getting hurt. I really wanna do smtg...bt..i'm sorry. My hands r tied...

If ever he wants to do smtg for me i cn suggest him one thing. Slap me n tell me to get out of ur life. I'll do it. Bt dun try to tell me tt i dun noe u well enough...Hw dare u show tat application n say tat we's so nt a match?? Wat does tat thing noe abt wat u said to me n wat i said to u? Wat does tat noe abt wat we been through together? Wat does tat thing noe...abt..hw much i loved u n hw much u din?? T.T Dun tell me tat just b'cz tat stupid app u agree tat we were nt gud together if tat ws the case we wud hv broken up the very next day we got together..

He used to msg me every 5 seconds :) I wondered is tis guy mad or smtg?? N if i dun reply in 5 mins i'll receive at least 6 msgs frm him... He ws caring..Nw even wen he's online on facebook, he just ignores me bein online. He just doesnt noe tat the reason y i cum online is just atleast to see him there. N i log off wen he's nt. He doesnt noe all these..:) I feel so silly doing tis for him..Bt hey just seing him online puts a smile on my face :) bt seing him goin off without talking to me also puts tears in my eyes...

Today i had a gud talk wit my bff, i told her everything i feel abt him... Of course nt entirely everything bt ya sumhow everything. U noe wen i made the decision tat we shud get it over, one thing i told myself ws "once u've made tis decision, make sure tat there's no more regrets" N i tot i had no regrets aft letting u go. Bt nw maybe i dun regret my decision, i just miss it. I just miss hw u were there for me one whole year n then..u were just gone.. Maybe. Maybe if u were still single aft letting me go, i wud hv regretted...i wud hv regretted for letting go of the 1 tat really loved me..I wud cried to u asking u to take me back. Bt u mada all my feelings for u to turn in anger..Anger of myself for letting my feelings all over u even wen i cudnt see u i ws holding ur hand, even wen i cudnt touch u i ws combing ur hair..Sometimes i wish u cud see all tis posts...i wish i can tell u abt it..If u hv really loved me..u wud hv read it... If u hv really loved me n read tis..u wud hv asked me abt it..Ask me abt wat's bothering me.. Sumtimes, i wish i cud be ur girlfriend again for atleast a few minutes..If i ever get tat few minutes..i hold ur hand between mine, look really into ur eyes.. n i'll just ask u one thing "r u ok syg...?" tat's it. I dun wanna talk abt me, i'm tired of talking abt me to u throughout our relationship. I want tat few minutes to be ONLY  abt u... I just want to listen to u...i want to rub ur hands while listening to u..Comb ur hair while listening to u..slightly touch away ur cheeks n hold it in my palm... N i want to live tat moment for a life time...

Call me now..i'll cum into ur arms leaving everything i hv....T.T

"Syg ngah buat pe?" "Dh mkn b?" "Pegi tidur baby..." "dh mandi?" "i miss you dear..", "*hug*" "*kiss*" , ":*>"
All these phrases will always remain in my heart... Though u still hear frm sum1 else n nvr missed it c'min frm me..In my case, it's totally different.. I live wit it.. n within it. I cum home n hv no1 to ask me hw ws skul, or hw r u. No one even cares wether i'm home alive or nt.. Wen u were there, u were the first one to say gud morning to me..n the last one to say gud night to me.. Even nw, once i reached home i cum into my room n pretend like i;m u n will ask myself "syg ngah buat pe?" n answer it myself "ntg..u?" haha..i tink i'l' become a mad person soon..

If i tell you tat i love u..Will you love me back..? I dun tink so. Thus, i will nvr do it... I shud hv nvr done it.. T.T

Something just happened :D i was making my very first cake for my mom, aft i put in the oven i was sitting right beside the oven so tat i cn keep an eye on it while scrolling through facebook. Then i suddenly saw a phrase *hugs&kisses* on my fren's wall, n i got reminded of the past.. After a few minutes, i ws awakened by the burning smell -.-" I burnt my three-milk cake because of u. Tank q very much.

Wat a funny life..

I just wonder..wat a funny life i have. I keep in every single dream tat i want, unrevealed so tat sum1 else cn live happy... Worse even advise them to live happy. Funny huh? True.. I've kept in everything in for so long tat even if i ever wish to reveal it, i dun tink i remember hw do it. Only certain ppl tat enters our life knows hw to know these dreams of ours..we dun noe hw they do it cz they just hv  a golden key...love. Once they hv the key..we r just nt able to keep any secrets away frm them..even those wic u cnt even tell ur best friends or ur own mother. B'cz u noe tat no one cn understand it better than the special one in ur heart.. Haaizzz.... One of my dream, i need a gigantic diary.. i noe it's weird bt ya.. in tat case i write everything tat i write here, in there cz tis blog may be viewed by sum1 tat shud nt noe any of tis...*sssshhhh*

How stupid can i get??

I knew it. N i was rite..they were just playing..The break was a lie. Well i dun actually care much abt it. I just cant believe hw stupid cn i get to wait for him..at the bustop today aft skul..as if he's gonna like cum...I dun noe y i'm behaving like tis.. If only it were'nt for tat 1 night...if i did nt say yes to him..i wud hv been a complete different person nw. I tot it woudnt affect me much if we got apart bt..the quote u'll only know the importance of sum1 in ur life after they have left sounds so true to me nw... I just keep on wondering wether i cn change the quote in  a way tat wen u feel their importance they'll be always waiting there for u to cum...Apparently i cnt. Too bad for me huh....T.T

Long Time No See...

I have nt been posting anything on my blog for long again...well let me see...quite a lot of things happened...1st exams..dun wanna talk abt it...it's indeed better than before bt i still tink i'm capable of doing more. Then..choir, they're planning a farewell for us on the 30th june :) how sweet of the new members who does nt even noe us bt wishes to do a farewell.. :) Next...sum idiot proposed to me on facebook -.-" Lastly, Quite a lot to talk abt...of course..relationship.. He said they broke up.. I dun noe wether it's true or nt..bt yea according to him he still loves her n she just requested to be frens for awhile. Tink i noe y..b'cz nadia told me..bt dun wanna tell him. Tried advising, bt..i dun noe wether it is effective or nt.. I just wish he cud see.. I'm nt like telling him tat he shud nt love sum1 tat us frens dun like no, i'm just telling him...tink again..cz i just sense tat..smtg's wrong..smtg major is wrong...:(