Tis video clearly hw stupid i am nw...T.T

Today..he said his last goodbye to me.. Wow..nvr knew it'll hurt tis much.. bt yes..i need it i need to learn hard..I may hv disappointed him bt hey...wat else cn i do..? i'm sorry..i'm just trapped.. it's always easy to say frm the outside bt inside u wudnt noe hw it feels... I'm gonna be alone frm nw on.. i nid to learn tat losing ppl in life is normal.. even the ppl u love the most... T.T

Today ws soo stressful as any other skul day... Today he ws a bit down. He had problem wit his galfren.. I told him I'll speak to her abt it. Ppl cn say Tat I'm stupid to get them fixed Wen I still like him Bt I dun care. I want to do it so I do it. Anyway I'm used to make ppl happy Bt Nt to stay happy myself :) I'm Gud in hiding my feelings :) maybe too Gud huh...? :)

Ntg much happened today..so stressed out.. Din see him at all today.. I ws almost late for skul,din go for recess, just went for lunch.. Bt ya judt wen o tot im gonna be fine i saw
Him leaving skul while i ws in chemistry lab..well i noe tat i seriously hv to get over him.. Im really trying.. anyway gotta do homeworks so byebye for now..

U noe..i wanted to ask u smtg...though i noe i cnt....bt.....Did u kiss her...? How did it feel...? Did u feel the same wen u kissed me..? T.T Did u even miss me wen i went away...? I did... i really did.. i nvr showed it bt yes..i really did miss u...T.T bt hey wat's the point huh..? U moved on very fast... quite too fast... Leaving me behind without even checking wether i ws fine or nt... Remember the day wen we went to bugis..? We were walking in the crowd.. we had a fight..as usual i started it.. :) U walked away too fast while i stopped to check on the teddies around.. I din see wer u went... U left me... I ws just standing there. like an idiot..T.T i din noe wer u went..wer u were.. i ws just standing there hoping tat u'll cum get me.. N u did. U just held my hand n brought me all the way to the bus stop.. u din say a word.. We boarded the bus n i couldnt hold back my tears anymore..I cried.. i din say anything bt said dun leave me..T.T  dun ever leave me like tat again... U hugged me n said tat u wont.. I'll nvr forget tat day... nvr... u laid on my lap through out our journey back home..tat day wen i went back home i ws in a lot of trouble.. bt it all din matter.. :) the only thing tat i cud only see n feel ws u holding my hand...the image wen u just held my cheeks wit ur hands n hugged me... I've always wanted to say tis again,i noe tat i'll nvr hv another chance to say tis to u again...bt at least i cn sleep tonite wit the feeling like i actually did say it... I love u sooooooooo much baby.... T.T

A Very Bad Day..

Today was a very bad day...din bring my homework...had math test..fell on the staircase..climbed all the way upstairs with all zips on my bag opened.. The day cud nt get any worse... Well as for my lost love...it just got all over me today... I was so distracted by the thoughts of him today...I ws smiling to myself while i ws on my way walking to skul.. bt it all got shattered wen i entered the skul compound..T.T

Rub it on my face tat u love her...i'll keep smiling n accept it with open heart....T.T u will nvr noe hw much it hurts...Trust me.. u wont!

I dun even noe hw to do simple things!! T.T U've always taught me abt hw to do things.. Even do it for me wen i nid it bt nw... Forget it.. i noe i shud be gettin over it bt i cnt! wen i see tat u nvr missed me at all!! U just proved to me tat u nvr needed me! tank q! All these while i've been living wit only ur thoughts n memories n u pay me back by saying tat u nvr wanted me back.. T.T tank q so much...

2011

It's a  new year, finally i had the thought of updating my blog :) tanks to sum1.. Anyway i was thinking of deleting my blog.. found out there's no use for it anymore. I tink i cn post 1 last thing or 2 b4 i do it.. Life changed. A lot. Things tat i noe tat wud nvr change also have changed... tat includes people.. I find it hard to accept the changes cz for all i noe.. i dun control them anymore. Even the 1 tat i loved... really loved n thought tat he did the same, changed. Nt to blame him for anything.. i told him i'd be fine if he get's sum1 else. It just got worse...i dun noe wat to say anymore.. I feel like i meant ntg to him.. I feel like he just used me... i feel like everything he said ws just for the sake of saying it... Ws i tat bad..? Did i treat u tat badly tat u just cant wait to get over me..? Did u even tink abt me wen u got a girl..? Wen u held her hands..? i dun noe wether u felt all these bt dun tell me u din feel it even wen u kissed her right infront of me T.T tat! tat shattered me into pieces... U thought i din see u doin tat to her..? well u were wrong.. cz i saw it.. T.T i noe tat there were a lot conditions wen we were in relationship.. bt u noe y i was so controlling.. I ws nt able to talk abt it on facebook.. or wit frens.. i din even sit together wit u holding hands laying on ur shoulders while my frens were arn it's b'cz... i wanted u N my frens... Bt nw i cn see tat u're very flexible wit ur partner.. I'm happy for u :) u needed it n i ws nt able to giv it. I'm sorry. I'm writing tis believing tat he wud nt see tis.. nt unless i tell him wic i wont... He will tink tat i nvr update my blog n i'll let him tink tat way.. Let's see how much longer i cn hold on...